NO TEMAS AL DUELO
-Julia Samuel
“Hay personas que están en duelo por la versión de sí mismas que eran antes de vivir la pérdida. Y aunque quizá nunca vuelvan a ser las mismas, pueden dirigirse con éxito hacia otra versión de ellas”
Si hay algo que existe en común en todas las personas en el mundo, es que tenemos un historial de pérdidas, todos hemos perdido algo o alguien que amamos, y, paradójicamente, el tema de la muerte sigue siendo uno de los más difíciles de tocar, un tabú, algo que la gran mayoría decide ignorar, y por lo tanto, cuando sucede lo inevitable y muere alguien a quien amamos o alguien que conocemos atraviesa una pérdida, no sabemos qué hacer, qué decir, como ayudar o acompañar.
En este libro la psicoterapeuta Julia Samuel, quien lleva los últimos 25 años de su vida atendiendo a dolientes, escribe este libro en el que habla de su experiencia con sus pacientes, lo que ha aprendido acompañándolos en su proceso de duelo y escribiendo reflexiones sobre ellos.
Empieza explicando de manera concisa y clara qué es el duelo, la importancia de respetar y entender este proceso y sobretodo reconocerlo como necesario, porque a lo que normalmente recurrimos es a ignorar lo que sentimos y querer aparentar que todo está perfectamente por diversas razones (desde no querer ponernos en contacto con nuestro dolor hasta no desear expresarlo pensando que nos convertimos en una “carga incómoda” para el otro o porque tenemos la presión social de que debemos “ser fuertes” para los demás) cuando la realidad es que todos necesitamos ayuda en algún punto, ya que es un proceso que, de una forma u otra y en distintos niveles, cambia nuestra vida para siempre.
El libro está dividido en segmentos de acuerdo a las diferentes pérdidas:
-Cuando muere una pareja
-Cuando muere un padre
-Cuando muere un hermano
-Cuando muere un hijo
-Cuando nos enfrentamos a nuestra propia muerte (ocasionada por la pérdida de la salud, padeciendo una enfermedad que nos lleva al final de la vida).
“Reprimir el dolor puede conducir a la depresión”
Y cada segmento tiene testimonios de sus pacientes, como fue su experiencia como psicóloga atendiéndolos y detectando sus necesidades, mostrando que cuando vivimos una pérdida importante nuestras mas grandes debilidades y heridas del pasado, incluso de la infancia, empiezan a ser más evidentes y a entorpecer mas nuestra vida, pidiendo a gritos ser sanados, también al hablar de sus pacientes explica como fue la evolución de estos, y cuáles fueron las razones y el trabajo interno que hicieron para poder salir adelante, la autora sugiere que se lean todos los segmentos aunque no estemos viviendo un duelo directamente relacionado con otro punto (por ejemplo, si tu lees este libro porque perdiste a tu padre, leas también el segmento de “Cuando muere un hijo”) porque la autora sostiene que aunque las pérdidas son diferentes entre sí, podemos identificarnos con el sentir y pensar de alguien que vive un duelo distinto al nuestro y podemos descubrir, al conocer las experiencias de otros, puntos ocultos en nosotros mismos.
Explica que todas las emociones complejas y difíciles de manejar que vivimos en un duelo, tales como la tristeza, la desesperanza, la inseguridad, el enojo, el resentimiento, la culpa y la aparición progresiva de numerosas preguntas sin respuesta son procesos normales que tenemos que vivir y de los que necesitamos aprender para reajustarnos a nuestra nueva vida sin la persona que ya no está.
Toca también temas de la salud muy interesantes, como que una persona que está en duelo es mucho más propensa a sufrir un infarto en ese proceso que una persona que no está viviendo un duelo, habla también de que quienes quieren evitar sentir su dolor se refugian en el alcohol en realidad solo están haciendo su problema más grande porque el alcohol en sí es un depresivo y cómo este y otros elementos tienen sus repercusiones en el cerebro, y por consecuencia, en nuestra calidad de vida y percepción de ésta.
Al terminar cada segmento, hay un espacio de reflexiones y en las que ella saca las conclusiones de los casos de los que escribió y de alguna manera los enlaza.
Contiene también consejos muy útiles sobre cómo manejar el duelo de los niños y cómo podemos darles la mala noticia de que murió un ser querido, lo que debemos explicarlos cuando los llevamos al funeral al despedirlo y cómo podemos escuchar e impulsar que los pequeños expresen de distintas formas sus sentimientos.
En general, la lectura de este libro me pareció muy agradable, su lenguaje es ameno y sencillo, por lo que en mi opinión hasta los adolescentes pueden leerlo, dice las cosas directamente sin ser demasiado agresiva y, de alguna manera, te ayuda a encontrar tu propio camino para empezar a poner en orden todo lo que sientes.
Me gustó mucho que la autora pone el acento en seguir relacionándonos con la persona que murió, claro que esa relación es radicalmente distinta pero habla de lo sanador que es hablar o escribirle a la persona que ya murió, contarle como nos sentimos, cuando la extrañamos. Esto rompe el paradigma que nos han hecho creer en la sociedad de que “superar el duelo” quiere decir olvidar a la persona que murió y sacarla completamente de tu vida, cuando en realidad está persona formó parte de ti y lo seguirá siendo Lo recomiendo ampliamente
Es un libro que necesitas si estás viviendo una pérdida por la muerte de alguien a quien amas y quieres entender e intentar poner orden a la tormenta de emociones y pensamientos que seguramente estás viviendo. También es muy útil en el caso de que alguien importante para ti acaba de perder a alguien y no sabes cómo ayudar, qué decir y curiosamente en no pocas ocasiones, los detalles y gestos más sencillos son los que mejor efecto tienen, también aprenderás a reconocer cuando el doliente necesita que estés ahí o si por otro lado necesitan su espacio para asimilar todo o para ponerse en contacto con su dolor.
Es un libro que, por muchas razones, no puede faltar en tu biblioteca 😉
“En el duelo no existe lo correcto o incorrecto: necesitamos aceptar la forma que el duelo tome, tanto en nosotros como en los demás y encontrar las fuerzas para vivir con esa aceptación”
¡Consíguelo en Bookworm Los Cabos! 🙂
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References:
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Beneath is a sample cycle generally utilized by weightlifters to realize a similar earlier
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Every week, the guys were given either 600 mg of testosterone or a placebo.
Then, they were split up again into 2 groups that labored out, and a pair of that didn’t.
Testosterone is considered one of the most secure
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as they prevent the growth of breast tissue (gynecomastia) within the chest area.
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cycles (below). We commonly see Deca Durabolin shutting down endogenous
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Deca Durabolin is often used in bulking cycles due to
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lack of androgenicity. Androgenic side effects such as hair loss (androgenic alopecia),
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Understanding the mechanisms of action of Deca Durabolin is crucial for comprehending its profound
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and bodybuilding. Deca Durabolin, or nandrolone decanoate,
operates by way of a complex series of organic processes that in the end lead to
its anabolic and androgenic results.
It has been round because the 60s and has proven time and time once more
that nothing can come shut in terms of building pure mass and strength.
As Soon As you attain that zone you will quickly discover power and measurement enhance quite shortly.
Steroids can enhance muscle mass as properly as inflicting the user to hold more ‘water weight’.
This additional weight is often built up in brief areas of time and can lead to added pressure on the center and organs.
The elevated progestin within the physique can lead to increased fat storage and breast tissue progress in males.
Trenbolone and Deca Durabolin are each injectable bulking steroids, but they’re completely
distinctive of their pharmacology and results. Though Deca Durabolin will not be probably the most optimal steroid for ladies (with Anavar being a extra appropriate
compound), research suggests Deca Durabolin presents a
low threat of virilization. We discover this cycle higher suited to someone worried about gynecomastia, as an aromatase inhibitor (AI) can be taken, synergistically decreasing estrogen and progesterone levels.
Nonetheless, these SERMs can even increase progesterone (5), thus growing nandrolone-induced gynecomastia with this stack.
Anadrol, by itself, has the ability to trigger hypertension due to its excessive dosage of 50–100 mg per day.
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This is to show that not all Deca-Durabolin cycles should be at the higher finish
length of 14 weeks, as usually occasions a cycle that lengthy
can end result in increased potential for HPTA damages.
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The potential for cardiovascular problems, hormonal imbalances, and long-term
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These dangers underscore the significance of informed decision-making and medical supervision for anyone considering using Deca Durabolin or any other anabolic steroid stacks for sale
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Deca-Durabolin Cycle (Nandrolone)Deca-Durabolin is
potent, so start with caution. An optimal dose is 200 to 400mg weekly for12 weeks,
selling muscle constructing and joint healing. This authorized various to Sustanon is known as Testo-Max, designed to
lift your testosteronelevels for greater muscle tissue,
extra power, and enhanced performance.
There are guys on the market who do a successful PCT after Deca or NPP, however most will say that it’s ineffective at recovering testosterone,
and I agree. Deca at 200mg to 300mg per week will show extremely effective for any newbie, with Testosterone Enanthate at up to 500mg weekly being a essential addition to make
sure testosterone ranges are maintained. Suppose four,
five, or even six weeks; for this reason we regularly use Dianabol or another quick kickstarter stacked with Deca.
Females can use NPP but must be conscious of the dangers of virilization, and for that reason,
the feminine dosage shouldn’t exceed 50mg weekly
for any longer than a 6-week cycle. For feminine athletes, 50mg per week for no extra
than 4-6 weeks is normally all that can be tolerated.
Using any form of steroid will result in the suppression of your pure test production. In uncommon instances or when customers have been on cycle for extended durations, folks can be
shut down permanently or endure from low testosterone ranges for a number
of years. Technically talking, nandrolone converts to estrogen at
a much lower rate than testosterone. Nevertheless, users operating larger doses or operating
multiple compounds have and continue to have to control and manage estrogen. Many athletes
working deca report breakouts of zits, particularly
on the back, oily skin and increased development in physique and facial hair.
There can be the possibility of progesterone increasing causing
gynecomastia and more. Aspect results of Nandrolone can come in various
types and are usually more prevalent for individuals who run continued size cycles or
use more substantial doses.
I would use half of mg of Arimadex every day whereas running Deca, or 10 mg
of Aromasyn every day. When it comes to Arimadex or Aromasyn I might truthfully take one or the other.
It’s just a nice throughout compound that can be a good addition to
any cycle! If someone needed to do a really efficient cycle and didn’t
have some large cash then Deca is one I’d seriously look into utilizing.
It’s not usually a first-choice steroid for females, with other choices which are considered extra female-friendly.
Nonetheless, for many who need the precise advantages of Deca-Durabolin,
it is attainable to use it with a comparatively low virilization risk, supplied
excessive doses are prevented. All steroids based mostly on the Nandrolone hormone
will trigger a heavy suppression of testosterone, making this one of the more
severe unwanted effects of Deca-Durabolin.
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